My take on love…

This was from a conversation I had with a friend a couple months back. The topic, love, is obviously out-of-place from my usual posts but I think it’s worth sharing:

Love is neither possessive nor needy. It does not demand. People confuse love with that sense of dependency one develops in a relationship. They have this tendency to think that if you wont show that you care, you do not really love them. Love is not a commodity that needs to be matched – intensity to intensity.

Love is patient. It is kind. It is not jealous, blind, malicious and it does not seek gratification in wrong. Love is not expressed only at convenience. It is never insecure. People would think that it is okay to be jealous when you are in love but the truth is, those are the primal urges taking over.

Love does not equate to possession. It amounts to more than physiological attraction. Love is being selfless – being very willing to sacrifice for the sake of love. As soon as people feel attraction, they try to possess the person. Love is not about taking over. It is never about dominating. Love is different from that sense of owning that object of your affection. The need for support, the need for approval, the need for comfort – those are nothing near love. Those are simply needs.

The focus of a possessive lover is to get what he can get instead of on what he can give. He dignifies his dependencies in the name of love – if you love me, you should do this, else you do not really love me. That’s some kind of very twisted logic. That kind of relationship is not based on love but on manipulation. Manipulating to keep those things coming your way be it attention, approval, financial aspects or whatever it is that the needy lover “needs” (or wants). Love is different from need.

Nobody is addicted to love. People are addicted to their needs. Of course people would form interdependencies when in a relationship but when that sense of fear of not getting takes over, love dies. Insecurity would come in. Jealousy. Resentment. Discontent. Fear. Fear most of all.

Love is a different thing entirely. It’s not something to abate the sense of emptiness on feels. Love sees everything, the truth. Love is not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s also about compromise so everyone can live in harmony. Love is a deep caring. Love is calm. It is not turbulent nor confusing. Love is not difficult and it is never a conflict between logic and emotions. Love is very rare that most people can’t even imagine what it is. Much more, experience it in their lifetime. And unless you leave that inherent chase for your needs and self-gratification, you can never know what love really is. That’s the reason why most people think love does not exist. But it does and it’s the most beautiful thing there is along side order and balance. 🙂